If there is one thing I have learned in this past year, it’s learning how to advocate for yourself. Sometimes there is a notion in society, that advocating for yourself is weakness. That asking for help makes you look like a rookie. We are supposed to just have everything figured out…didn’t you know?! Well, I don’t know about you, but it is absurd to think that with everything that comes up in life, we just “know” what to do, and there is a step-by-step process that every single person needs to follow. There is a lot of soul searching, a lot of prayer, a lot of waiting that occurs when you are making changes for yourself. One thing my mentor has told me more than once this year, is “I can’t save you Joanna. I can’t rescue you. If you want the changes…you have to start challenging yourself with love to figure this out.” Ha! Well, that meant that I was going to keep trying, keep practicing and keep moving forward even when I felt like I wanted to quit. It also meant that I was going to have to put myself out there. It meant that if I didn’t know what to do, or how to do it, I was going to have to ask for help and invest in myself…which is scary.
Am I worth investing in?
What if I invest all this money in myself, growing and nothing changes?
What if I just fail or bottom out? What if I can’t figure this out?
I remember that first day I met with him. He said, I think you need to give this a go. At least 6 weeks. I looked at him and said, “I was thinking more like a year!” That’s how bad I wanted to change. I wanted to look at areas in my life I was avoiding because it was too difficult to do it on my own. I didn’t have the tools. I wanted to grow, I just needed help. I knew if I was going to do it, I was going all in. I was coachable, I was willing to look at my crap, I was willing to reflect and SLOW down to really assess my life.
You see, no one can rescue you. No one can MAKE you change. No one can want it more than you want it for yourself. Because even if you had Tony Robbins helping you, if you don’t want your life to look different, or you don’t want to stop making excuses as to why you can’t do something….no one can help you. Many times I find that women have a nudge on the inside to step out and believe in themselves only to be shut down by other’s opinions of them. I see it happen all the time. Even from simple things like asking for help around the house so they aren’t carrying the load of working full time, cooking, motherhood, and the maid. People can’t read your minds, and honestly, most people would be relieved to KNOW what you need. Not only will you feel better, you will feel more loved and you will have more energy to love on those around you when you speak up for yourself.